Opinion: Bread and Circus? Send in the Clowns! Let Them Eat BBQ!

Ribeirão Preto, SP – (Opinion) Not content with the poor popular ratings of his “bread and circus” routine of going walkabout, taking (cough! cough!) selfies with sycophants, and pressing the flesh (cough! cough!) of addle-pated admirers outside the presidential palace, President Jair Bolsonaro (fondly known as “Bozo”) has ratcheted up the showbiz content of his administration.

On Thursday, May 7^th, Bozo decided to roll out the heavy artillery of any traveling circus – the clowns! In a last-minute change of agenda, he invited some 15 captains of industry to join him in a quick jaunt across the Ministries Esplanade, and drop in on the office of the Presiding Justice of the Federal Supreme Court (STF).

You know, the sort of thing we do all the time – drop in on the neighbors, chew the fat, speculate on the weather, ask how are the kids/grandkids doing, everybody healthy over at your place? – that kind of stuff.

Except that most of us don’t drag along an entourage of techies so we can broadcast, real-time, our sit-down chat with our bemused and befuddled neighbor.

Awkward? Well, duh!

It was definitely awkward for the cabinet ministers, who had not bargained on becoming bit players in a media circus starring the Clown-in-Chief.

It was definitely awkward for the Presiding Justice, as he had to have his staff scramble to find a one-ring space, underneath the STF big top, for the clown show to go on.

It was definitely awkward for the captains of industry, who had come to Brasília to have closed-session discussions with cabinet ministers about the effect of the Covid-19 epidemic upon their businesses.

Bozo, who has never tested positive for awkwardness, seized the moment to announce that on Saturday, rather than continue his traveling circus, he would host a backyard barbecue at the Alvorada Palace, his official residence.

He said he was inviting some 30 people, among them ministers and even some “humble” staff for an early pickup football match. You know, the sort of thing we do all the time – ask the neighbors to drop by, chew the fat, speculate on the weather, kick back and relax after a long workweek, etc.

Cue thunderous applause from enraptured BozoMinions, as they crowded in front of the circus’s (virtual) ticket booth, clamoring to be invited to the BBQ. Visibly pleased, the ringmaster announced on Friday that the BBQ would have 100, then 200, then 1300, or even (gasp!) 3000 guests.

Alas and alack, the fête was ill-fated, as on Saturday the doors to the Circus Messianicus remained tightly closed, with signs announcing that BBQ Bozo had gone fishing.

To be fair, the Clown-in-Chief wasn’t fishing: he was spied by paparazzi as he buzzed about the Paranoá lagoon on a jet ski. His destination, as it turns out, was what he had theoretically renounced – a BBQ!

Awkward? Not at all.

BBQ Bozo clearly reveled in his day off, hosted by some maskless, mindless Minions, while most of his audience stayed home alone, on a day of mourning decreed by Congress, lamenting the 1,000+ Covid-19 deaths in Brazil.