Opinion: Brazil’s Machiavellian Republics – a Minatory Fable

Opinion, by Michael Royster

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL – Back in Renaissance Days, what is now Italy comprised many local “Republics” (e.g. Genova, Firenze and Venezia) which feuded regularly with each other, occasionally spilling over into bloodshed. Brazil has created a relatively similar situation, so far bloodless, as the “Republic of Curitiba” finds itself besieged by the “Republic of Maranhão”.

The Republic of Curitiba is what critics of Lava-Jato like to call the court where Doge (or is it Judge?) Sergio Moro sits in judgment of miscreants and malfeasants. The Republic of Maranhão is the political fiefdom of former President José Sarney, where pre-eminent PMDB politicians and their cronies pay him fealty.

With that preamble, the Curmudgeon now begins a minatory fable.

The Republic of Curitiba began its expansion by concentrating its fire on the Legions of LuLaLand, successfully extirpating Patrons of Petroland and ousting their leader Dilma the Dismal. Bolstered by his success, the Doge of Curitiba also invaded the many-tentacled borders of Oligopolis, a city-state with castles constructed on sand.

Upon arrival, the Doge immediately took prominent Officers of Oligopolis as hostages; these, fearing dragons and dungeons, attempted to dodge the Doge by divulging data on the politics, philosophy and economics (mostly the latter) of their former liege lords, located in the Republic of Maranhão.

The Doge diligently digested the denunciations, and realized that Maranhão was so well walled and entrenched that he would need assistance from a supreme source. Looking upward, he paid court to the eleven-headed Superioribus, aka the Lords of the Lagoon.

Sadly, however, the Doge did not realize that many Lords of the Lagoon were former Legionaries of LuLaLand, and others owed their positions (not to mention allegiance) to Maharajas of Maranhão.

Thus, the Doge’s prosecution of LuLaLand, Oligopolis and Maranhão all came to naught.

The Doge himself, banished from their realms, finished out his days wandering, bereft and bemused, among the Groves of Academe.

No one, save the Legions of LuLaLand, the Officers of Oligopolis and the Maharajas of Maranhão, lived happily for even a few weeks more, much less ever after.